


Say Something

by WeepingWings



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Depression, Fire, M/M, Sad Ending, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-02 03:04:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 14,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2797256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeepingWings/pseuds/WeepingWings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newt never had a good life, but the final chapter of it was the worst. (my summaries stink sorry)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Always Someone New.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first Fanfic that I have posted in a while, sorry I'm so if it's bad, I'm a bit rusty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the name from the song Say Something (I'm giving up on you) by the band A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera

Newt sighed as he closed the door behind him. He looked through the crowded classroom, desperately trying to find a quiet spot at the back of the room. No such luck. He finally set his books down on a somewhat quiet table and adjusted his sleeves, not wanting anyone to see the slowly fading scars that covered both of his arms. He was pulling out his notebook when someone plopped down into the seat next to him. He payed no attention to it, since he had no friends, even on the second month of school. But he was shocked when the person next to him started talking  


“Hi, my name is Teresa. I noticed that you have no one to hang out with, so I was thinking that you could hang out with me.”  
Newt was even more shocked when he finally processed the fact that the stranger sitting next to him was FEMALE! His whole time here, not even a boy would talk to him, let alone a girl. Teresa seemed to realize that he really didn’t know what to say. (It had been a long time since that he had someone to talk to besides his mom.)  


"What's your name?"

She asked pulling out her notebook as well and making herself more comfortable in her seat. Newt then realized that she was actually serious about sitting with him.  
“Newt.”  
He murmured staring down at the only visible scar, the one that started in the middle of his left hand, then continued all the way up to the joint in his shoulder. The scar served as a visible reminder of how close he had come to dying.  


“Well Newt, would you like to sit with me and my friends at lunch? I’m sure that they won’t mind you coming with me.”  
Teresa asked him, just as the teacher came in, and silence fell. Not able to speak in fear in of getting in trouble, Newt just nodded. The rest of the period passed quickly, and before Newt knew it Teresa was looking at him expectantly, he then realized that she something.  


“Sorry, what did you say, I wasn't’ really paying attention.”  
Newt asked, feeling horrible for not listening, he always tried to make other people happy, especially since he never seemed to be able to manage it himself.  


“I was telling you the names of my friends, but since you weren't listening I’ll tell you again.”  
Teresa said smiling and hitting Newt with her shoulder.  
“First there's Gally. The only way to really explain him is by saying that he has diagonal eyebrows. I’ll just let you figure out his personality by yourself. Next, Ben. Ben has a wicked sense of humor, well I guess that makes him and Gally, anything you say will be turned into a joke. Last there's Alby. He is extremely blunt, but sometimes he surprises us all and be caring, but it doesn't happen a lot.”  


By the time Teresa had finished explaining her friends, they had reached the cafeteria. Teresa finally shut up and lead Newt to an empty table and sat down. Newt sat down next to her and pulled out his sandwich box. Several second later the table around Teresa and Newt filled up. Newt hated sitting in crowds, so he scooted a little close to Teresa, the only person that he knew in the school, and watched her friends 

"Hey guys."  
Teresa said smiling  
"This is Newt, my new friend.


	2. Forever Painting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt never had a happy life, but the last chapter was the worst.

A couple weeks later after befriending Teresa, Newt woke to voices whispering in his head. When he realized what they were he groaned. It was starting again  
“You're no good. No one needs another painter in the world. No one wants you, that’s why your only friend is Teresa.”  
The voices whispered to him, starting to slowly drag him down into a dark bottomless pit, a pit that he had only escaped once, and how he had done it had almost killed him. He was awoken from his thoughts by a buzzing coming from his phone. He picked it up and looked at the message, it was from Teresa  


Hey Newt, I was wondering if you wanted to come with Gally and I to come to Art On Fire with us later today.  


Newt smiled at the message, and the whispering voices seemed to stop, well for the time being anyway. He replied yes and headed downstairs to where he new his mom would be waiting. She was always home, since she had taken time off of her job while he was in the hospital. That was why he was so surprised when he saw that she wasn't there. 

Apon further inspection of the kitchen, he discovered a note that said that his mom had gone off to work. So he grabbed himself a bagel and headed out to Arts On Fire. He was the first one there, so he found an empty table and sat down. He pulled out his phone and texted his mom to say that he was hanging out with some of his friends, and that he would be back later. 

Satisfied, he put his phone away and waited for Teresa. She arrived 10 minuets later, and by that time Newt wasn't paying attention to his surroundings, in fact, he was listing to the vices go back and forth in his head, wondering if they were right. So he barely remembered the fact that he was wearing the first t-shirt that he had worn since meeting Teresa, so she didn't know about his scars. 

"Hey Newt. How are you today?' Teresa asked, putting her handbag down on the floor. "I'm good. I was just thinking that you had forgotten that you had offered to meet me and Gally here." 

He replied, even though he was serious, he gave her a smile, hoping that she would think that he was kidding. "Of course I didn't forget you Newt." Teresa exclaimed, lightly pushing his left arm, the one with the huge scar that ran all the way up his arm. They sat in silence for a while until Teresa asked the question Newt knew was coming sooner or later. "What happened to get your arms that scared?" 

She asked, pointing in particular to the biggest scar that he had. Should I tell her the truth? Newt thought studding Teresa, tying to figure out what her reaction would be once she figured out the truth. He finally decided to tell her the lie that he had told everyone, but when the time was right he would tell her the truth. If he lived that long 

"When I was little my dad and I were in a car, I can't remember where we were going though. All of a sudden a car hit us, and pieces of shrapnel flew everywhere. I got a particularly big one in my left arm." He said, pulling up his sleeve and showing Teresa the full extent of his scar. When he finished telling his story, he released something that he hadn't noticed before, the story that he consider a lie of how he got his scars was half true, since his dad had actually died in a car crash, feeling better about not lying to much, Newt leaned back in his chair and watched Teresa's expression. 

It really were quite funny. He was about to comment about it when Gally plopped down into the seat across from Newt and Teresa. "Hey guys, sorry I'm late, there was traffic." He said. Actually looking sad that he was late. Newt suspected that there was something going on that he didn't know about. 

"What at you going to paint Newt?" Teresa asked as they stood up and went to go and look at the choices. "I was thinking of painting a plate." He replied, getting a medium sized one down and looking at it. 

"What about you guys?" Newt added as he carried the plate back to there table. Gally and Teresa just shrugged, they had no idea either. They all ended up painting plates, and Newt showed off his superior painting skills to Gally and Teresa. They then went out to lunch together. And by the time that Newt promised to see them tomorrow, he was felling a little bit happier then he had been in days.


	3. Old Scars and New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I just relised now that the lines in the last two chapters are a little to close, so this time I put some space between them. Maybe I'll go back and fix it the other chapter.

"Newt. Can you come down here for a moment please? I need to speak to you!"

His mum called out from down the stairs. Newt's heart stopped, what if she found out that the voices were speaking to him again. Even though they were getting louder each day, 

Newt didn't want to tell her and worry her, again. So he just squared his shoulders and walked downstairs to meet his mum.

"Newt, I'm worried about you. You hardly say anything anymore."

His mum said, pulling him into bone crushing hug

"I'm fine mum, just a little tired."

Newt lied, looking up at her. She didn't look convinced, but continued told him what she called him down here to say. 

 

"Tomorrow an exchange student from France is coming!"

His mum exclaimed, sounding happier then she had in while. Newt just looked blinked in shock

"They want to put an exchange student in the house with a 16 year old that tried to off himself?"

He asked, not believing his ears. His mum just nodded. He knew that she hated being reminded that if his attempt had gone differently, then she would be the only one living in 

this house. 

"But where is he going to sleep, and what is his bloody name?"

Newt finally asked, wanting to know some important details. 

"Newt language."

His mother scolded in a playful way. Newt just gave a halfhearted smile.

"Well his name is Thomas, who luck for us, he speaks fluent English, so we don't have to worry about translating. And, I was thinking that we could put him in your room, you 

know, so he won't be lonely."

 

His mum, said, adding the last part on quickly, as if making sure that Newt wouldn't have any time to interrupt her. But all Newt did was nod, anything he said wouldn't change his 

mum's mind from putting someone in his room with him, he had learned that a long time ago. Newt's mum gave him a smile and picked up her work bag.

"I know that it's the weekend, but I'm needed at work to fix a problem."

His mum said after seeing his shocked expression.

"See you later baby, if I[m not home by 5, you can order some pizza."

She told him, as she kissed him on the cheek.

"See you later mum, love you."

He said after him as she opened the door to the garage. He listened innately to the sound of her car pulling out of the driveway, then he head upstairs to where the bathroom was. 

He locked the door behind him, even though no one was home, and pulled out a small knife that he had stashed in his pocket before heading up stairs. He stood there for a 

moment, holding the sharp little knife over his hand, and just listened to the voices in his head.

"No one needs you, the world would be better off without you."

The voices told him, by this time they were as loud as someone talking to him normally.

"Better off without me."

He repeated in a possessed sounding voice. As each second he stood there, holding the knife, the urge grew bigger and bigger until he couldn't handle it any more. In one quick 

practiced stroke, he made a slash on his left wrist. He watched as the blood dropped slowly into the sink. 

"Not enough, one more cut."

The voices in his head were telling his. Unable to control himself, he made one more cut, just above the first one. This time he didn't give into the voices and wrapped up his wrist 

with a white bandage. He still had thousands of rolls under neath the sink from the first time that he was cutting himself. He then washout the sink and cleaned the knife. 

Satisfied that he had hid all of the evidence, he headed downstairs to make some breakfast. Even though it was 12 o'clock.


	4. Holding Your Breath

Newt held his breath the next day as he was saying good bye to his mom before school, wondering if she would ask him why he was a jacket when it was 60 degrees outside, and then he would

have to revel that he was sinking back into the bottomless pit of depression, but she made no comment. The feeling to cut himself was back, so when he 

was cutting his sandwich in half, the knife in his hand 'slipped' and he cut himself. Again his mom didn't say anything. He was about to ask her what was wrong when she said 

something.

"Today that boy Thomas I told you about will be at school, and I want you to talk to him. I don't want any of this, but I'm to shy stuff. Then I want you to meet up with him, because

you are going to drive him back home. I don't want you to forget him, that would leave a horrible impression on him."

His mum said, looking don at him. If it wasn't for the smile on her face, Newt would of thought that she was mad at him. Newt smiled back and hugged her.

"I won't forget Thomas mum, you can count on that."

He said, then closed the front door behind him and got in his car. He took off his jacket and started the car. On his was to school he made sure that the bandages that were wrapped around his wrist was covering up his cuts completely, he didn't want Thomas to think of him as the boy who cuts his wrists. He shock himself out of that train of thought and ignored the steadily rising voices in his head. But it didn't seem to help, he still felt himself slowly falling down into a deep dark pit, and with each day, he would drop 5 more feet

\-------------------------

Thomas looked around the science class room, in search for the boy named Newt. As far as he knew, they had all of the same classes together. All of a sudden a girl plopped down into the seat next to him "Hey, you must be Thomas." 

The girl said, nudging him, as if showing that she was talking to him. Thomas just nodded, he had no idea who this girl was, but she was pretty "My name's Teresa, one of Newt's best friends. Newt texted me last night saying that you were an exchange student from France, and that you speak fluent English." The girl added, looking at Thomas thoughtfully. Finally he couldn't take it 

"Do you you where Newt is?" He asked Teresa. "I'm right behind you." 

Someone with a distinct English accent said behind him. Thomas whipped around and saw the most beautiful person imaginable standing there. His short blond hair was really really fluffy, his accent was to die for, and his eyes were the most beautiful brown that Thomas had ever seen. "I assume that your Thomas." 

The boy, who Thomas assumed was Newt asked. Thomas nodded, and the boy sighed "Good. Just in case you haven't figured it out yet, my name is Newt." The boy said, extending his right hand. Thomas shook it. He looked down at the arm and was surprised to see that it was covered in hundreds of scars. 

"How did you get those?" He asked pointing to one of the scars on his arms. "My scars?" 

The boy still asked, even tough Thomas was pointing to one on his arm. Thomas nodded, and Newt held up both of his arms, so they were next to each other. Thomas then noticed a white bandage that encircled his left wrist. "When I was little, I was in a car accident with my dad. Shrapnel flew everywhere. My dad died, I survived." 

Newt said, and Thomas noticed that there was tears welling up in his eyes. "Oh. I'm sorry." Thomas said. Newt just shrugged and wiped his eyes. 

"It's not your fault, and besides I barely remember the accident." He told him as he put his books down on his desk. "Do you mind if I sit here?" 

He asked, pointing to the seat on the left of him. "Not at all." Thomas said. Then sat down. The rest of the day he sat like that, sandwiched in between Teresa and Newt.


	5. Shock and Wonder.

Thomas looked around at his soundings in aw. He had never seen houses so close to together.  
"You all right there Thomas?"  
Newt asked him, not taking his eyes off of the road.

Thomas nodded, then relished that Newt wasn't looking at him  
"Yes. It's just that I've never seen so many houses, and so close together."  
He said, watching as Newt pulled onto the driveway of one of them 

He followed Newt out of the car and towards the front door "This is my house." Newt said in kind of a monotone, kind of like he didn't want to be there. 

Thomas looked up at the house. "How long have you lived here?" He asked. Looking at Newt, who was unlocking the front door 

Newt opened the door and looked thoughtful "We've lived in this house as long as we've been in america." He said "Which is about two years." 

Thomas nodded and followed Newt into the house. "Put your backpack down and I'll give you a tour of the house. Newt said as he locked the front door behind him. 

Thomas felt his backpack slip down his arm as he looked around at the house. "Follow me and I'll show you the kitchen." Newt said, mimicking one of those annoying tour guide voices. Thomas laughed and followed Newt. 

\------------------------------------ 

"This is my room." Newt said. He always loved showing people his room. It was covered in all of his art projects, and the people's faces were prices when he show them. Thomas didn't let him down. Newt looked on in amusement as Thomas's expression turned form one of polite bordum to amazement as he looked around the room. 

"Did you make all of these?" He asked as he looked around at all of the paintings. Newt nodded, the pointed to the ceiling. There hung a glass work sculpture of the solar system. "Is that glass?" Thomas asked him, looking at Newt in aw. 

"Yes, you'll never believe how long that took me to make that. I probably visited arts on fire 6 times just to finish it! Lucky for me the lady who ran it really likes me, so she keeped all of the different parts until I was done, then she helped me put it together." Newt said, smiling at the memory. It was the month before he had sunk into depression for the first time. 

"Was it for a school project?" Thomas asked, standing on Newt's bed to get a better look it. "Yes, we were doing a space unit in science and we had to create a model of space, then we would share the model and some of the facts that we learned about space." 

Newt replied. As he sat down on the floor. The voices were back. Newt shut his eyes and tried to tell them to shut up, but they just got louder. And they were giving him headache. "You okay there Newt?" Thomas asked him as he laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, sorry, just a headache." Newt told him, Thomas looked worried. Newt was about to say that he was fine when there was a voice downstairs "Newt, Thomas. I'm home." 

"That would be my mum." Newt muttered as he pulled his sweatshirt on, not wanting his mum to see the bandages, she would immediately know what was going on. "Are you cold?" Thomas asked him, noticing his sweatshirt. Newt nodded then ran down the stairs to where his mum was. 

\---------------------------------------------- 

There definitely is definitely something wrong with Newt. Thomas thought as he followed his new friend down the stairs. There was no way that he was cold, it was the middle of August. But Thomas went along with it anyway, if Newt wanted to tell him he would. He pushed open the kitchen door and stood next to Newt, who was telling his mum about his day, 

"Were doing this new art project, we have to draw something that has a meaning to us. So I was thinking of drawing a knife with blood dripping off of it to show what I have overcome." He was saying when Thomas joined them. Newt's mum smiled then turned to Thomas 

"What are you thinking of drawing Thomas?" She asked. Thomas glanced at Newt, who was looking scared all of a sudden. Thomas made a mental note to talk to Newt about it later. "I was thinking of drawing a broken doll, then a plane in the background, showing what I left behind in France." 

Thomas replied. Thinking just how nice Newt's mum was. "I can't wait to see what they look like when there done!" She told the both of them, ruffling Newt's already fluffy hair and leaving the kitchen. 

Newt sighed and picked up his backpack "I guess that we better start our homework." He muttered as he pulled out his binder. 

Thomas nodded and followed suite, dreading the piles of homework that he had to get done that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have already planned out the ending of the story, but it doesn't do me much good it we've just meet the characters!


	6. Changing for the Worst.

Thomas heard Newt sigh as they lay in there beds that night. Thomas was wondering about what Newt had said about his drawing. He closed his eyes and listened to the rhythm of New't breathing, trying to figure it out. Finally he couldn't take it anymore.  
"Newt.?"  
Thomas asked, just wanting to make sure that he was awake before he asked his question.  
"Yes?"  
Newt muttered, sounding irritated. Thomas swallowed, he din't want to make Newt mad, but if he didn't ask now he never would be able to sleep if he didn't know the answer.

"When you were telling you mum about what you were going to draw, and you said that it was going to represent what you have overcome, what did you mean by that?' Thomas asked, and when Newt didn't reply he added "What have you over come lately?" "Lots of things, we all have our down parts in life, so we either over come them, or we die." Newt replied in a flat sounding voice. 

Thomas sighed, that was not going to help him sleep  
"Anything specific it represents?"  
He finally asked, hoping to get more information this time. He heard Newt's bed rustle, but he didn't say anything. He waited for what seemed like forever, but New't still hadn't replied, so Thomas just closed his eyes and attempted to sleep. He was just drifting off when he heard Newt say something

"What did you say, I wasn't really listing." Thomas asked sitting up. He heard Newt sigh again. "I said that it represents depression." Newt said. Thomas was shocked, Newt seemed to be a really happy person. 

"Oh." Thomas replied after a minuet of silence. "Well, I'm over it now." Newt replied. His words sounding rushed. 

"I'll see you tomorrow I guess." Newt said after a while. "Yeah, see you tomorrow." Thomas replied and closed his eyes 

\-------------------------------------------

 

Newt lay in bed that night, completely awake. It was hours after his and Thomas's conversation, and Newt couldn't stop thinking about it, since it was the first time he had admitted to a friend that he had depression, well has depression. But Thomas didn't need to know that it was still there.

Newt was just about to fall asleep when he heard someone calling his name. He sat up so fast that it made his head spin. Listing intently, he got out of bed and opened the door. On the other side of the hallway there was a shadow standing in front of his mum's bedroom door.  
"Newt."  
The shadow whispered, beckoning him forward with one finger. Newt checked to make sure that Thomas was still asleep, then started down the hallway, closing the door behind him.

"There's a good boy."  
The shadow whispered as Newt tiptoed closer.  
"Come on, just a little closer."  
It whispered again, and Newt obeyed, feeling as if he was in a trance. When he was about a foot away, he stopped and tried to identify the figure, but it seemed to be made completely out of shadow.

 

"Long time no see."  
The shadow said a little louder this time. Newt then reconised who the figure was.  
"Alby."  
He whispered. At the start of Newt's depression there was a figure that keeped showing up, so Newt just had to come up with a name for him.  
"What are you here for this time?'  
Newt growled

 

"Ooh, the little Newtie has gotten an attitude since the last time."  
Alby cooed as he bent down and patted Newt on the head.  
"As you already know, I'm here to make your life miserable!"

 

Alby cackled as he pulled a knife out of his pocket  
"My life's already miserable."  
Newt muttered, but he already felt the defenses that he had tried to build up against Alby start to crumble, leaving him exposed and unprotected.

 

"You know you want to."  
Alby giggled as he swung the knife back and forth in front of Newt's face, almost like he was trying to hypnotize him.  
"I... want to"  
Newt stuttered out, trying to fight the urge to take it and cut himself, but Alby's presence was making him weak. He slowly felt his control slipping as he reached out and took the knife.

"Good boy."  
Alby muttered as he followed Newt into the bathroom. Feeling Alby's eyes burning into him, Newt tightened his grip on the Knife and stared down at his wrist.  
"Go on, I don't have all night."  
Alby prodded. Newt glanced at him and felt the little control that he had left disappear. He looked back at his arm, and picked a spot that no matter what he wore, the bandage would be covered and made a quick little slash.

"What was that!?"  
Alby roared in outrage  
"That was the littlest cut that I have ever seen, you need to go deeper."  
Newt nodded and turned back to his arm. He breathed in deepely and made another slash, this time much deeper then the first one.

"See, that wasen't so hard." Alby said sounding pleased. "Your a monster." Newt replied as he watched the blood trickle down is arm. 

"Your the one who created the monster."  
Alby replied as he stood up and streached.  
"Ready to make another cut?"  
Alby then asked, Newt shook his head, enen though he new that no matter what he sais, Alby will get his way.

 

"That's a shame, I guess that I'll have to force you then."  
Alby replied almost thoughfuly, and the next thing Newt knew, Alby had his hand wraped around Newt's hand, and was bringing it up toward the other two cuts. Newt tried to fight him, but Alby was to strong, so all that Newt could do was watch healplessley as Alby cut his arm.

"See that is how deep it's sopost to be."  
Alby told Newt as he pointed to the new cut.  
"I hate you."  
Newt muttured as he watched Alby start to fade.  
"That's my job."  
Alby replied with a little salute before he dissapered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alby is a piece of Newt's subconcionionaiois.  
> (sorry can't spell and the computer didn't know what I meant.) Also this Alby is different then Teresa's friend Alby.
> 
>  


	7. The most obvious of alarms

The next morning Newt's internal body alarm woke him up, and he immediately new that he had forgot to do something. He just couldn't rember what.

He ignored it and went downstairs, but when he was halfway down the stairs, he felt his heart stop. He had forgotten to wash the knife that he used last night. 

He rushed back up the stairs and into the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and started washing the blade. Five minutes later the blade was clean, so he pocketed it and headed back downstairs. 

Looking over his shoulder to make sure that no one was there, Newt quickly pit the knife away. Suddenly, Newt has a craving for pancakes, so he pulled out one of his mothers cookbooks and set to work 

\----------------------

The next morning Thomas awoke to the smell of pancakes. He pulled himself out of bed. When he passed Newt's bed he saw a red splotch on his bed.

Thomas frowned and looked closer. It looked like blood. I'm asking Newt about it as soon as we get downstairs. He told himself as he walked down to the kitchen. 

He reached the kitchen door and pushed it open. Inside Newt was standing in front of the stove, absorbed in flipping what ever he was cooking. 

"Good morning Newt." He said as he pulled up a chair at the table. Newt just grunted. "Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed today." Thomas muttured to himself. 

"How many do you want to start?" Newt called out a couple minutes later. "I'll have 4." He called back. Newt grumbled something, but when he came to the table and sat across from Thomas, he was smiling slightly. 

"Here you go, I've never made this recipe before, so I'm sorry if it's bad." Newt told Thomas as he placed the plate of pancakes in front of him. Thomas just smiled, hoping that he wasn't giving away how nervous he was to try a new recipe.

"So, this morning I was." Thomas started, but Newt stood up suddenly. "I'll be right back." He muttured before racing up the stairs. Thomas sighed, so much for asking Newt about the stain.

And he was really starting to worry about Newt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if some of the words are messed up, I typed this on my phone, and me screen is cracked like crazy.


	8. Only 2 left.

One weekend, about a week after Thomas had arrived, he and Newt were sitting in the kitchen, working on there drawings, well Thomas was, Newt was drawing a line, then erasing it, then drawing another line, then erasing it again. It was getting quite annoying.  
"Are you actually going to actually draw something, or are you just going to keep erasing a singe line?"

Thomas asked, pointing his pencil at Newt, who looked up. Was it just Thomas, or did Newt look exhausted? "Sorry, it just wont come out, normally I would of been at least halfway by now." He replied, his voice even sounding tired. 

"Are you alright Newt, you look as if you haven't slept in weeks." Thomas asked, wondering if Newt had actually been to sleep since he had been there. "I'm fine, I just haven't been able to sleep lately, it weird, I'm never tired at night, and then during the day I run on adrenaline." Newt sighed, as he put his pencil down and rubbed his face. As he did so, the cuffs of his long sleeve shirt rode up, reveling heavily bandaged wrists. The bandages didn't even look white, they had more of a pinkish tinge. 

"What happened there?" Thomas asked, pointing at the bandages. Newt opened his mouth to reply, but before he could even say anything, the phone range. By the time Thomas processed that the phone was wringing, Newt was already picking it up. The person on the other side said something, and before Thomas could blink, Newt was sitting next to him, and putting the phone on loud speaker, so they could both hear. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------- 

The moment that Newt heard the voice on the other side of the line, he knew that something was wrong. Or it was the fact that his mum was telling him to sit down and put the phone on speaker so Thomas could hear, in the saddest tone that he had ever heard. He followed he directions, then put the phone in between him and Thomas. Thomas glanced at Newt with a confused look on his face, and Newt just shrugged, he had no idea what was going on either. 

"Is the phone on speaker Newt?" His mum asked, sounding urgent. "Yes." Thomas and Newt chorused at the same time. His mum took a deep breath. 

"I just got a call from the hospital, and they said that earlier this morning, Teresa, Gally, and Alby were on there way over to our house, when they were hit by a drunk driver." She said, Newt felt his eyes start to tear up, but he knew that there was more. "What happened to them? Thomas cracked out, Newt's friends had always been nice to him, expecting him into there little group with out complainant. "The driver hit the passenger side first, then spun around and hit the driver side. Teresa was in the passenger side, so she died instantly, since she took the brunt of the impact." 

Newt's mum paused again, and Newt barely felt the tear slide down his cheek, but what he did feel Thomas sling his arm around his shoulders. "Gally was driving, so he was hit second, he died during emergency surgery. Alby was the only one that made it to the recovery unit, but then he died while they were taking him out of his medically induced coma. I'm sorry Newt, but the only one to survive the accident was the drunk driver, and with the charges that there going to five him, he's going to wish that he was dead." She finished, tying to sound hopeful at the end, but failing misiabelry. 

"I'll see you when you get home mum." Newt told her. "See you later Newt. OH, and see you later to Thomas." She said, adding the end on qulikely, but Thomas couldn't of cared less, all he was worried about at the moment was Newt. The phone line went dead. 

"I'm so sorry Newt." Thomas muttered puling him into a hug. But Newt was feeling numb, as if he was drifting away from the world that he didn't belong in. The world that he no longer wanted to stay on, the world that was throwing him curve ball after curve ball, and hoping that he would hit them all. He couldn't take it anymore. He ripped away from Thomas's hug and sprinted up the stairs. 

"Newt!" Thomas called after him, but Newt was long gone. He reached the bathroom and wrenched open the door. He quikely shut it, not bothering to look the door, since he knew that he would be long gone by the time Thomas caught up with him. Newt stood in front of the sink and pulled out the knife that he always had with him as of late. He was about to dig the knife in when the evil shadow Alby appeared besides him. 

"Good boy! I see that we've finally given up fighting me!" He exclaimed. Newt just nodded, then pressed the knife to his arm. He took a deep breath in, then dragged the blade along his arm, pressing harder then the last time he had done it. "That's a good boy." Alby giggle as Newt repeated the action. He finally stopped and fell to his knees, his ears ringing. Suddenly the bathroom door banged open and Thomas ran in. He took one look at Newt, then pulled out his phone. Worry painted on his face. 

"Just hang on Newt." He whispered, and then the world went black.


	9. A Little Bit of Hope

Newt awoke to the sound of beeping and whispering voices. "I can't believe that he would do this again, I thought that he was over it." His mum whispered, running her fingers thorough his hair. 

"Again? Thomas replied, forgetting to whisper. Newt then became aware of someone holding his limp hand. It must of been Thomas "Yes, again. During the middle April, Newt started to sink into depression. So he started to cut himself, I tried to help him, I really did, but no matter what I did seemed to have no effect. Then on May 4, he attempted suicide." 

Newt heard Thomas's sharp intake in breath, but he didn't pull his hand away. "I had no idea that he was cutting himself again, and when he told me about his art project I thought that we were in the clear." She added, and Newt felt wet spots start to appear on his chest. His mum was crying, she never cried in front of him, not even when his dad died. 

"Maybe this time I can help him." Thomas said in a kind sounding voice. "Thank you so much Thomas, you'll never know how much that would mean to me." Newt's mum sniffed out. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, during which Newt drifted off to sleep again 

\---- 

When he woke up again, the room was dark and deserted. Newt sat up and stretched his stiff muscles. He looked around for a clock, but there didn't seem to be one. "You were so close!" A voice said besides him, making Newt jump. "You were this close to dyeing!" The person said, as he held shadowy fingers and inch apart. 

"What do you wan with me this time Alby?" Newt groaned, dreading his reply "Oh, nothing, I was just coming to see how my little Newtie Newtie was." Alby replied, in a voice that you normally use to talk to pets. 

"I'm just swell, in fact I've never been better." Newt replied sarcastically "Now now Newtie, it's impolite to be sarcastic in the presence of your subconscious." Newt just sighed, Alby could be so annoying some times 

"Okay, all powerful subconscious king, what do you have for me this time." He asked, bracing himself for the worst. Alby looked confused "I'm not allowed to come and visit my host?" 

Alby asked, sounding hurt. Newt just sighed. "Newt! Your awake!" Thomas called from the door. "That would be my cure to leave." Alby muttered vanishing into thin air. 

"Oh Newt, your mum and I were so worried that you wouldn't wake up." Thomas said breathlessly as he sat down in the chair next to Newt's bed.

"I'm fine, just lost a little bit of blood."  
Newt replied, knowing that it was more then just a little bit of blood.

Thomas scoffed "A little bit of blood, the cut was so deep that they had to put stitches in it, and then change the bandages six times." "Ops, maybe a little more then a little bit of blood." Newt replied, feeling guilty. Thomas sighed, but then perked up again. 

"We've been invited to a party, and your mum want's you to go, she said that it would be a good friend making opportunity." Thomas replied, sounding really excited. Newt sighed, he hated parties, but if Thomas was going, he had to go to. "When is this party?" Newt asked, and Thomas smiled "Tonight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter I didn't know weather to make Newt's life more msisrable, or to give him some hope. I then decided that there was only so much sadness that one character could take at a time, so I gave him some hope. The next chapter will be happy and sad.


	10. Looking Up.

Thomas was getting quite annoyed at Newt, it was if the blond was trying to communicate to him that he didn't want to go to the party. Which Thomas didn't get, did't everyone love going to parties?  
"Come on Newt, at least put something niceish on, it doesn't have to be to fancy."  
Thomas said through gritted teeth. He heard Newt grumble something, but he stepped out of his room fully dressed anyway (He had just threatened Thomas that he would go wearing only his underwear.)

"See you look beaut- I mean fine, you look fine." Thomas told hi slinging his arm around Newt and leading his downstairs, who let himself be dragged along. "It'l be fine, just relax." Thomas told him as they were driving there. "Easy for you to say, you actually want to be here." Newt grumbled as got out and locked the car door. 

"Just let the party take you." Thomas said before dispersing into the crowd 

\----------------------------------------------------------- 

"Well that's bloody great." Newt muttered as he watched Thomas disappear. "I'll never be able to find him again." Newt then set off to find the stairs, where like any party that he had ever been to, he would just sit there and wait for it to end. He had been siting there for maybe ten minuets when someone sat next to him. Just like Teresa had done that one day many months ago. Just remembering Teresa, and how she had been his first true friend made his sad. He felt a tear trickle down his cheek and he whipped it away absently. 

"Your Newt right, I think that I might of seen you handing around with Teresa, you know, before she died." The person said. Newt looked up and was surprised to see that the person was Asian, there didn't seem to be to many Asian people in there town. "Yep that's me." Newt replied, trying his best to sound happy, but he could tell that he failed miserably. "Well, nice to meet you Newt, my name is Minho." The boy said, holding out his hand. Newt shook his hand, and as he did so, the sleeves of the sweatshirt that he was wearing rode up, showing his heavily bandages wrists. 

"What are." Minho started, looking confused, but his expression instantly changed. "Oh." Newt just bowed his head, so much for a new friend. "Hey it's alright, some times we just can't help our emotions." Minho said "I won't judge you." He added, and scooted closer, just to show that he didn't mind 

"Hey, if you really want to know, I did it because Teresa died. I was suffering with depression for the second time, and the death of her and her friends kind of drove me over the edge." Newt replied, stretching his legs out in front of him. Minho just nodded and flung a arm around his shoulders. They sat like that in silence for a while until Minho sat up suddenly. "There's someone that I would like you to meet." He said and raced down the stairs and into the thick of the party. Newt sighed, he hadn't expect Minho to sit with his for as long as he had any way. He sat there for a while, but Minho never came back. Newt wasn't surprised at the slightest. He watched the party, and he could tell that it wasn't going to end any time soon, so he just closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would write more, but I have to go and do 'family stuff.' Also I won't be updating tomorrow since it's Christmas!   
> Merry Christmas everyone!!!!


	11. Befriending Alby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been planning the last chapter already, and I've decided to call it Only Human. If you want to get a little sneak peak to see what it's about, listen to the song Human by Christina Perri, and the end is kind of like that!

Thomas was really enjoying the party. He had meet so many people, and danced with so many girls that he couldn't put the right name to the right face.

After while he decided to take a break, since he was getting quite tired. He pushed his way through the crowd, saying sorry multiple times, trying to get to the stairs.

"This house is way to big." He muttered to himself by the time he got to the massive stair case, without looking up, Thomas sat down and stretched his legs out in front of him 

"Hey Thomas, long time no see." a voice said behind him. Thomas whirled around and stopped, he was nose to nose with an Asian. "Hey Minho!" Thomas replied, pleased that he remembered the guys name

"Did you come over here to check on Newt?" Minho asked. Thomas was surprised "No why?" "Because he's sitting at the top of the stairs." Minho replied pointing to the top. Thomas turned around, and sure enough Newt was sitting there looking at the party. 

"I wondered where he was, I did't see him the whole time that we were here, I just figured that he was lost in the crowd." Thomas told Minho who was following him as they climbed the stairs to where Newt sat.

"How are you doing Newt?"  
Thomas asked when they were all sitting in a line at the top of the stairs. But Newt didn't reply.

"Newt?" Thomas asked again, poking him slightly this time. "Thomas, I think that he's asleep." Minho said softly putting his hand on Thomas's shoulder. "What? Who falls asleep at parties?" Thomas asked shocked. 

"Newt apparently." Minho replied. They sat there for all of five minuets before Minho gave in. "Look, I'm sorry dude, but I really should get going, I left my girlfriend, and she'll be wondering where I am." He said standing up. "That's fine I totally understand." Thomas replied, a little bit hurt "See you at school on Monday." Minho said before departing down the stairs. Ten minuets later and still Newt hadn't woken up 

"I'm sorry Newt, but if you gonna sleep it would be better at home." He told his sleeping friend before running his fingure up and down Newt's slowly healing cuts. Newt awoke with a gasp of pain. 

"Hey Newt." Thomas said, pretending that he didn't just wake Newt up by making him feel pain "Do you want to go home now?" Newt nodded, a smile spreading across his exhausted face. "Alright then, lets go." Thomas said and put an arm around his friend. Newt must of been really tired, since he leaned into Thomas's embrace. Either that or Thomas was warm and Newt was cold. 

They got in the car, with Newt in the drivers seat "Are you sure that your okay to drive?" Thomas asked, worried that Newt would fall asleep at the wheel. "I'll be fine. When ever I drive it's like I become more awake, but then when I get out, I'm as exhausted as I was before. 

Newt told him as they pulled away from the house. Thomas nodded, but still made sure that his friend stayed awake for the five minuet drive back to there house 

\--------------------------------------------- 

The Next morning Newt awoke to sunlight filling his and Thomas's room. He immediately knew that he had sleaped in later than usual, since he never woke up to sunlight, not even on the weekends. "Hey there Newtie Newtie, long time no see." Alby's voice sounded besides him. Newt sighed, so much for having a happy day. 

'What life threatening thing do you have in for me this time?" He asked, and braced himself for the worst. Alby just gave a sincere laugh "Nothing, I'm just here for a little talk, you know, a little talk between friends." "Were. Not. Friends." Newt replied at a growl. 

"Chums?" Alby asked, frowning and searching his brain for another word. "No, not chums. What about the Evil Alby and the Innocent Newt?" Newt said, and for the first time since Alby had started to appear, he looked hurt. 

"The Evil Alby?" He asked, then he looked a little happier "I'm not evil." He said, and Newt rolled his eyes. "If your not evil then who is?" He asked, and Alby's expression turned thoughtful 

"A mix between Miley Cyrus and Hitler." He said, and Newt gave a little laugh, he thought that Miley Cyrus was evil to "So, you saying that compared to them, you mildly evil?" He asked, anticipating Alby's reaction 

"No." Alby replied, shaking his head forcefully "I'm saying that compared to them, I'm a majestic human sized version of Pooh Bear." He said, and Newt could't help but snort. "Fine I'll agree to that." Newt said, and watched in amusement at Alby's fist pump. 

"So, dose that mean that were friends now? Since I have a nickname and you have a nickname?" Alby asked sounding child like, and Newt nodded. He need all the friends he could get, even if it was someone that he could only see. Alby suddenly turned serious "Just because that we are friends doesn't mean that I won't be mean to you, since that's my job, but I won't do it quit so often" He said, actually looking sad. "That's fine, all of my friends have hurt me at some point." He replied, pulling his new friend into a hug. At that exact moment his bedroom door banged open, and Thomas flew in. 

"Why are you hugging thin air?" He asked, looking at Newt with a weird expression on his face. "Oh, no reason, just seeing how thick it felt today." Newt replied, and he winked at Alby as he dispersed.


	12. Sound Of Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listing to Sound of Change (by dirty heads.) I had no idea what to write next, so I took the lyrics and created this chapter. I also used the name of the song, since it gave me inspiration to write this chapter (I write the chapter, thne I think of a title)

On Monday Thomas might of forgotten about Newt a little bit, well maybe more then a little bit. But in his defense, Minho was a really interesting person. The moment that they got out of the car that morning, Thomas saw Minho, and he was so excited that the guy remembered his name, Newt slipped from his mind. It wasn't until he reached Newt's car, expecting it to unlock, like it had every single day that he had been here, that he noticed that Newt was nowhere to be seen.

"Crap, I completely ignored Newt the whole day, and after I promised his mom that I would look after him." He muttered and started to walk back to the school. He searched the whole school, but didn't find Newt. Until he had given up and was walking back to the front of the school. He had rounded the corner when he walked straight into Newt, who had his head down and his hands in his pockets. 

"Hi." Thomas said, feeling extremely awkward. "Hey Thomas." Newt replied without looking up. "I'm sorry that I ignored you all day, It's just that." Thomas started, not really knowing how to explain. 

"It's fine Thomas, I've been ignored more then once in my life time." Newt replied, still not looking up. "Newt, please look at me." Thomas pleaded, wanting to see how Newt really felt about him ignoring him. Thomas was adept at reading faces. Newt sighed in defeat and looked up. Thomas felt his breathing hitch. Running from Newt's hairline to his chin was a ragged cut, about an inch deep. 

"Who did this to you?" Thomas asked stepping closer to get a better look. "Ben." Newt muttered wringing his hands together. "What? Why?" Thomas asked, when he met Ben at the party the nigh before, he had seemed really nice. Newt just shrugged. "Can we go home now?" He asked Thomas, heading toward the front door of the school. Thomas complied and fell into step with the blond.

"Why did Ben hurt you?" Thomas asked again, walking backwards so he could face Newt. "I don't know why. I was just walking down the hallway to my next class, when he grabbed my arm and pulled me into a empty classroom. I asked him what he wanted, but he didn't reply." Newt started, looking down at the ground and dragging his feet. He went and locked the door, so I couldn't get away. 

"He came back over to me and asked how I was doing. I said that I was fine, and asked him his he was. He said that he would be perfect after this, and he slapped me multiple times. I think that he was wearing a ring, because something cut the skin on my face. I didn't go to the nurses office because I knew that was what he wanted, so I just cleaned it out the best I could and kept my head down the rest of the day." 

Newt finished telling his story just as they reached the car. Thomas was about to get in when he saw a flash of blue fabric behind Newt. "Newt watch out!" He cried, but it was to late. A figure suddenly appeared behind Newt and pulled him to the ground using his backpack. Newt tried to struggle to his feet, but the figure pushed him back down, hard. A sudden crack told Thomas that Newt's head had hit the assault, and not that gently. He watched frozen as Newt was punched repeatedly in different places by the hooded figure. Finally Thomas found his voice 

"Stop. you hurting him." He shouted, and immediately realized how dumb the last part was, of course he was hurting him. The hooded figure drew back his hood to expose blond hair. It was Ben "That the point, you know, hurting him." Ben replied and stood up. "You will not breath a word of this to anyone, not even Minho." Ben said, then disappeared, but not before kicking Newt in the stomach. As soon as Thomas was sure that Ben was gone, he rounded the car to where Newt lay 

"I'm sorry Newt, but were going to have to do something about this." He said when he saw the form of his batter, bruised and unconscious friend.

\---------------------------------------------- 

Newt was vaguely aware of someone carrying him bridal stile into the back seat of his car and lying him down. But to him it felt like he was floating on clouds. He heard the sound of the car coming to life, and felt it pulling away, but he was in to much pain to care much. When he started to slip away he saw Thomas's expression look back at him at the red stop light. His expression would bother Newt for the whole time that he was unconscious, because Thomas's expression looked like one of love. 

\----- 

When Newt woke up again he was lying in his bed. He tried to flit his head, but it felt like it was filled with thousands of rocks, making it hard to move. He then became aware of the pain. It seemed to be more intense in his stomach then anywhere else. He gave a his of pain when he tried to sit up. He felt like he just aggravated every part in his body. Alby suddenly appeared besides him 

"Look, it wasn't me this time, I swear, Ben acted on his own accord." Were the first words out of Alby's mouth. "No, it's fine Alby, I know that you weren't controlling him this time, his eyes weren't gold." Newt told him, and Alby looked confused "Gold?" He asked, and Newt nodded "When ever you take control of someone there eyes turn gold."

Alby nodded then looked thoughtful "I like gold, I think that is's my favorite color." Newt just sighed, sometimes Alby could be such a little kid. "Did you come here to talk to me again?" Newt asked, praying he was here just to chat. But Alby shock his head sadly. "My boss said that I've been clacking lately, and that I can be friends with you, just as long as I do my job."

He replied as he pulled out a knife "You know you want to." He taunted half-heatedly, but Newt had already grabbed the knife as soon as he pulled it out. "Yes, it's been to long my friend." Newt whispered as he stroked the knife like it was a fluffy kitten. 

"You don't have to if you don't want to." Alby replied, even though he was aware that Newt was already long gone in his little world where no one could reach him. "I want to." Newt hissed as he pulled himself painfully out of bed and towards the bathroom. He pulled the handle of the door, but it was locked. "Crap." Newt muttered, the urge was growing bigger and if he had to, he would cut himself right where he was standing. 

"Let me just take this." Alby told Newt, reaching for the knife in his hands, trying to take it back. "No." Newt snapped "It's mine." Alby held his hands up in defeat. "Newt? Is that you?" Thomas called from inside the bathroom.

"Yes."  
Newt called back, and he heard the door unlock.  
"Sorry, here you go."  
Thomas said pointing to the bathroom. Newt saw his eyes flick to the knife.

"No Newt, not again." He said exasperated. "Stop me." Newt said holding his knife over a non-bruised patch on his arm. Thomas moved so quickly that Newt didn't see what he was doing, but he felt the knife leave his hand, and Thomas press his lips to his. Newt was so surprised that he stood there frozen for a moment, but he eventually returned Thomas's kisses, and they just stood there for a moment, and forgot about everything. Until Thomas pulled back to breath. 

"I think that worked." He said cheerfully as he went down and picked up the knife from the floor. "Do you think that." Newt stammered, trying to find the right word, but Thomas seemed to know what he was talking about "Absolutely." He said and pulled Newt in for one more quick kiss before heading down stairs to put the knife away

"Can I look now?" Alby asked, uncovering his eyes anyway. "Well, that was, gross." Alby said then dissepeared. Newt sighed happily, nothing could of shot him down now, especially when he was with his new boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if the kiss scene was bad, I'm only 13 ( 14 in February) and the only thing that I know about kissing is from reading other stories with kissing in it, so I apologize again


	13. Falling down despite love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I got the maze runner on DVD for Christmas, and today I was just replying it over and over, and then I remembered that I haven't updated in a while. Oops

Every single day that week, Newt was injured in some way by Ben. More then once Thomas had to lay him down on the back seat and drive away from school with him unconscious, and he was really starting to worry about him. For one, Newt seemed to be unable to walk in a strait line, and two he was always crying out in pain in his sleep. Thomas had tried to talk Newt into telling someone, but Newt refused. All he said was. 

"Telling someone would make it worse." And Thomas had a sneaking suspicion that Newt found that having someone hurt him was better then hurting himself. Ben hurting him had caused teasing around school. The people that actually knew what was going on, like Ben's friends, called him 'The little stupid lizard blond lizard.' Thomas could see that it was getting to him, and no amount of kissing and hugs could get Newt to smile. 

"I'm okay Tommy, I really am."  
Newt would tell him, but at night Thomas could hear him whispering to himself  
"I'm okay. Thomas loves me. My mum loves me. I'm okay."  
Over and over again until he fell asleep. Tonight was no different. Apart from the end 

"I'm okay. Thomas loves me. My mum loves me. I'm okay." He could hear Newt repeating or so he thought. Thomas was just drifting off to sleep when Newt voice raised a little. "I'm not okay, sure Thomas loves me, and so dose my mum, but no one else dose. I don't even like myself. Why am I still alive?" Newt said, and then he started to repeat it.

"Newt?" Thomas asked standing up and walking over to Newt's bed "Why did you change your chant?" He asked sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Because it's true." Came the muffled reply. "No it's not." Thomas whispered and pulled Newt into a hug, minding the many bruises that covered his body. They stayed like that for a while before Newt pulled back 

"Maybe I am a stupid little blond lizard." He said, staring into Thomas eyes. Thomas sighed "Don't believe a word that those slintheads say. There the stupid little blond lizards." Newt looked at him doubtfully "Yeah, but there not named after a bloody lizard." He huffed crossing his arms. 

"Names don't matter Newt." Thomas said rubbing his temples "You sound like Alby." Newt muttered, which made Thomas confused. "I thought that Alby was dead." Thomas said, and Newt blinked in shock "He is dead, I never said that he wasn't" Newt replied closing his eyes. Thomas yawned, he was really starting to get tired "Okay, I'm going to go to bed now, and remember that you are wanted in the world." 

Thomas said transfiguring from Newt's bed to his own "Good night Thomas." Newt said, sounding exhausted, but Thomas was already asleep. 

\---------------------------------------------------- 

Newt wasn't sure how long he slept for, but when he opened his eyes it was still dark. And since when was his bed wet? Newt sat up and took in his surroundings, he was sitting in the middle of his front yard, and it was the middle of the night. Shaking his head he stood up stiffly, being beaten by Ben wasn't exactly the most comfortable thing to ever happen to him. 

"Going somewhere?" A voice growled from behind him. Newt turned slowly and found himself face to face with Ben

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do relise that this chapter is shorter then usual, but I figured that it was a good place to stop.


	14. Blades and Blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally I clicked the wright button and dint post it to early! Enjoy!!

Newt froze and tried not to breath in. Ben's breath really stunk  
"Did you think that I was going to let you got that easily stupid little blond lizard?"  
Ben spat pushing Newt down to the ground none to gently.  
"What did I do this time?"

Newt stuttered trying to push himself up before Ben could take advantage. "Oh nothing, you just looked to peaceful laying in bed like that, and unlike your precious little Tommy' some people don't actually like you." Ben replied punching Newt in the stomach, knoking the breath out of him. While Newt struggled to breath Ben pulled him to his feet. 

"Come on, we can't have a proper fight if your laying on the floor." Ben yelled at him. "Say." he then said and took a couple steps back. "The fight will start on the count of 3." Ben said as he asumed a fighting position. 

"One. Two. Three." Ben shouted and rushed at Newt, who was still strugling to get his breath back. Competley unwahre of Ben reaching down into his pocket and pulling out a sharp knife. Well, unwhare until he felt it dig into his arm. Newt screamed and fell to the ground. 

"Whats wrong stupid little lizard, I thought that you liked being cut." Ben said in a sympitahetic voice as he dug the blade in deeper. Newt screamed again and tried to pull away, but the blade of the knife was stuck in his arm. 

"Is the stupid little lizard not strong enough to pull the little knife out of his arm?" Ben cooed as he let go of the knife's handle. Newt struggled to grab hold of the handle, but it was slick wiht his blood. 

"Come on, were not done yet." Ben told Newt as he pulled another knife out of his pocket. "Please, I'll do anything you want, but please don't use the knife." Newt pleadded tears streaming down his face. 

"Nice offer, but I think that I'll pass." Ben said and threw the knife, just barely missing Newt's heart and lungs. Newt gave off a high pierced scream of pain that would haunt his own nightmares and watched as thr world started to go black around the edges. 

"Nighty nighty little lizard Ben whispered as he brought out another knife and brought it back prepared to throw it. But Newt was focoused on the movement that was going on behind him. There came a soft grunt and the sound of a shovle conecting with someones head, but it was to late, Ben had thrown the blade. 

"Newt!" Thomas screamed as he droped the shovel and colased to his knees infront of his crumpled boyfriend. "Tommy, if I don't survive this, rember that I love you." Newt said, and gave into the pain that was threatning to take him over. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

When Thomas was sure the police were coming he pulled Newt's head into his lap and brushed the still drying tears away. "I'm so sorry Newt for getting you into this." he whispered and kissed him on the cheak. Ten minuets later thr police had arived, and Ben was locked in handcufs and put in the back of the car before he could do any more damage. The noise outside brought most of the neighboorhood into Newt's front yard, and they watched with intrest at the sight of Newt being hauled into the back of an ambulience. 

"What happened to my baby'" were first words out of Newts mum's mouth. " someone from school who we thought was a friend" was all that Thomas said. And they both watched as the ambulience pulled away. "I have a felling that it would be better to visit Newt tomorrow." his mum said as Thomas shut the front door behind him. Thomas nodded. No one slept very well that night.


	15. Life or Death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ug, I'm sorry guys these buttons really hate me, since I keep clicking the wrong one, I'm still working on the ending, don't worry it doesn't end here

Newt awoke in a white room. The floors were white, the ceiling was white and the walls were white. "Hello? Is anybody there?" He yelled, and his words echoed back at him. "Sit down Newt, your going to he here a while." A voice whispered in his head. Newt hated waiting, but he sat down anyway. Minuets passed, which stretched into hours, and Newt was still sitting in the white room. Alone. And he was really starting to hate the color white. 

"Prepare for the talk. Your visitors will be arriving soon." A clear sharp voice suddenly rang out, making Newt jump to his feet in shock. Seconds later a little bing went off and a door appeared in the middle of the white room. "Newt? They said that we would be visiting someone that we knew but, we never thought that it was you!" Teresa's voice came from the door, and before Newt knew what was happening he was sounded by Teresa, Gally, and the really Alby, not the fragment of Newt's subconscious.

"Where am I?" Newt asked, hugging Teresa. "The waiting room of heaven." Came a reply from behind. Newt whipped around to stare at Alby and Gally, who had stayed by the door. "Heaven? I didn't know that there was a waiting room." Teresa sighed. "We all died so quickly that we bypassed the waiting room. The waiting room is where people reside that are teetering on the edge of death." Teresa said, and took a deep breath "like you." Newt blinked in shock. 

"Ben hurt me that badly?" He whispered, his eyes filling with tears. "Our job is to come in and 'visit' you. We talk about what you are leaving behind in the world, and what will happen to you in heaven." Alby said as he and Gally flanked Teresa, like they were guarding her from him. "And since that you are here because of injury, you will also be given a run down of your medical status." Gally added. Teresa clapped her hands and four chairs appeared. 

"Okay, lets do medical file first." Gally said after they were all sitting down. Teresa pulled out a piece of paper out of a folder that Newt just noticed. "It says here that the knife penetrated the bone in your arm, and that another one barely missed your heart and lungs, but it went all the way through one of your ribs and came out of your back." Teresa said and looked over the top of the sheet, and frowned "Are you okay Newt, you look a little pale?" She asked, sounding concerned. 

"Yeah, it's just I knew that my injuries were bad, but I never thought that they would be this extreme." He replied breathlessly. "Do you want us to continue, or" Alby asked actually sounding worried. "Go on." Newt replied and steeled himself for worse news. "This file here says that before they could be you into emergency surgery you had lost 45% of your blood, and were losing more rapidly. We would tell you the percentage, but we don't know how much exactly." Gally said putting the piece of paper away. 

"So, pretty bad then." and Gally nodded. "Okay, what are you here to talk to me about next?" Newt asked stretching his stiff legs out in front of him. "Should we do what would happen to him if he stayed here first, or second?" Teresa asked turning around to face her friends. "I think that we should do it first, because I think that he would take that news better if he's more focused on it." Alby replied and turned to Gally, who nodded in agreement. "Why don't you do this part Teresa, your better at doing this part then us." Alby told her and she beamed 

"Okay, if you were to come through that door that we came through earlier, back on earth you would die. So if you were to do that you would have to set up an ID with the governor, just to assure that you wont give any contact back to earth, which is illegal. Then you would probably move in with Gally and Alby, because they don't allow girls to live with boys. You would then have to find a job, preferably with Gally, Alby, and I, so we could then work together. You don't actually age here, but we still celebrate the days that our birthday are on. The only downside of all of this is that you will still remember the people that you left back on earth." 

Teresa told him as she leaned forward and put her elbows on her knees. "So I'll remember what I left behind." Newt confirmed, making all 3 heads nod. "What am I leaving back on earth, because staying here sounds pretty good right now." He sighed and ran a hand through this hair. "Thomas, your leaving behind Thomas." All three friends chorused at the same time 

\--------------------------------------------- 

Thomas sighed from exhaustion as the nurse lead him and Newt's mum to his room. "Just in here." she chirped happily as she opened the door. "Thank you." Newt's mum said, and followed Thomas, who was already halfway to the bed where Newt lay, limp and heavely bandaged

"How is he?" Thomas asked taking Newt's limp hand in his own. "Its wierd, he's not gettin any worse, but he's not stabilizing either. It's like he's stuck between the two, trying to decide weher he should let go or keep fighting." the doctor replied, checking Newt's vitals again. "So you can't do anything for him?" Newt's mum asked, and the doctr shock his head somely 

"I'm sorry, I really am, but there is nothing that we can do but hope bay he fights his way back to you." Thomas's eyes filled with tears and he head someone sit down in the chair next to him. "I'll leave you two alone." The doctor said and left the room quitely 

"Come on Newt fight, we need you here." Thomas whisered, listing to the sound of his mothers sobs. "Come on Newt, fight." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"But Thomas dosen't want me, know one wants me." Newt releplied, not believing his dead friends. "Yes he does, and there are so many people that want you. In fact, if I can remember correctly, there is a whole group of girls at school that are in love with you!" Teresa exclaimed, horrified at Newt's outburst. Newt just saddely shock his head 

"I guess now's a good a time as any." he muttured. "Tell us Newt, becuase if you decide to live, we will never get to talk to you again." Gally replied, looking intrested in the conversation. Newt sighed and prepared to tell his story 

"You know when I told you that I got my scars from a car crash, I wasent excately telling the truth. Back in Febuary, I started to get depression. I didn't tell my mum, since I thought that it would go away, but it didn't. Soon the depression became so unbarable that I started cutting myslef. Which resulted in these scars." 

Newt looked up at his friends, expecting discust to be written acres their faces, but all he saw was pitty. "But what about your dad." Alby asked, and Newt was pleased for the slight change in conversation. "I actually lost him in a car crash, so it wasent a complete lie." 

Newt responed, and for the first time, started to consider what he was leaving behind. "How would you send me back to Earth?" Newt asked, trying to decide to die or to live. "We would just say. Member Issac Newton would like to be to sent back to earth, and then you would dissapear. 

Gally said, with a slight smile "Are you deciding to survive?" he asked, and Newt nodded reluctantly. "I'll miss you, but I'll try not to come and visit." Newt said and pulled his friends into a tight hug. "We'll miss you to Newt, and be careful." 

Teresa said and Newt gave a salute. "Member Issac Newton would like to be sent back to earth." his three friends chorsed, and he started to sparkle. "Bye." Newt called before he dissapered. Th next time he opened his eyes, he saw two worried faces leaning over him. 

"Hey Tommy." he croaked, feeling exsausted and soar. "Newt." Thomas breathed. "We didn't think that you were going to survie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd write more and finish the chapter, but I have to go and do 'family stuff' since my grandparents are here and they leave soon.


	16. Flames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short, I just couldn't think of something else to do with this chapter. I won't be posing for a while because school startes on Monday.

It took Newt lots of time and support, but he was soon out of the hospital and half way down the long road to recovery. He was soon back at school, and working to catch up with everone else. At least he didn't have to do P.E anymore.

"Your such a lucky shank." Thomas would grumbel and Newt sat and did his homwork as everone else had to run two milles. The only one liking the running was Minho. His depression was getting worse though, and it was getting harder every day to wake up bypass draging a knife across his skin. 

"Dont worry Tommy, it's not coming back." Newt falsely reasured him every day they woke up that week. But he finally had to crack. One night around 12 o'clock, Newt snuck into the bathroom and slight both of his wrists. 

"Really Newt, you were doing so well." Alby muttured as he watched Newt make another deeper cut just above the first one. "But i've been craving it for a while, and tonight it just got to much." 

Newt replied with a hint of defiance in his voice. "If you say so." Alby muttured and walked closer "You call that a cut?" he asked cringing "you can make it deeper than that." he added and covered his eyes and Newt dug the blade in deep, dragging it toward him 

"Careful, you could hit a vein." Alby warned, but it was to late. Blood ran down Newt's arm at an alarming rate, and he watched it competely mesmerized. With a short happy sigh Newt whiped up the river of blood that was flowing down his arm and wraped it with a white bandage. 

"I'm staring to worry about you, this time I didn't even have to talk to you are you were cutting." Alby said as he watched Newt clean away any traces of blood. "I'll be fine, it's just stress." 

Newt replied as he drifted back to his room, feeling lighter then he had in days. Alby scoffed "Just stress, I think that it's a little more than that" bit he dissapered anyway. That night Newt dreame of knife's distroying every hurdel that life could possiabely throw at him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

When Thomas woke up the next morning to get ready for school, he imadetely knew that something was wrong. Either that or it was the slightly pink bandages that encircled Newt's wrist and the slight pink tinge to the sink. 

"So much for it not coming back." Thomas muttured as he went to wake Newt up. "We'll be talking about his later." He whispered holding Newts wrist up and pointing at the bandages there. Newt nodded and hauled himslef out of bed, wincing as he pulled on his shirt. 

"Serves you right." Thomas muttered as he pounded down the stairs and into the kitchen. The rest of the day passed smothely and without incident, until they got home. 

"Okay Newt, why did you do it this time?" Thomas asked as they were pulling out there homework that night. Newt sighed deepely. "I just couldn't handle it okay, it was just getting to much and I had to release the pain some how." 

he replied dragging a hand through his hair, a habit that he had started recently. "You could of talk to me." Thomas replied and kissed him on the cheek. "Now we should really get back to work" he said and tried to find the correct page in his math book 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

That night as Newt lay in bed, he thought back to the conversation between him and Thomas earlier. There's noting that he can do to help. Newt told himself as he rolled onto his back. He was just drifting off to sleep when he heard a rustling near his door. He quietly sat up and went to check it out. Creeping along the hallway made Newt relies how secretive his life had become. He had spent the last couple of weeks sneaking around the house trying to relieve his depression in any way possible before cutting himself. 

"My life is so sad." Newt muttered miserably as he continued to sneak downstairs, which was where the sound was now coming from. He pushed open the kitchen door and saw Alby standing in the middle of the kitchen, holding a box of matches. "What are you doing Alby?" Newt asked, hoping it wasn't what he though it was "My boss told me that I had to set your house on fire, but make it look like it was you, so you would then be consumed with guilt so you would then kill yourself." 

Alby said all in one breath. "What?" Newt asked, sounding shocked "I said that." Alby started "Yes, I got what you said." Newt snapped impatiently as he held out his hand for the box of matches. "Are you sure Newt" Alby asked as he handed them to him somewhat reluctantly. "Yes." Newt nodded and pulled one out. He and Alby just stood there for a moment, and looked at the match. Newt could feel his confidence wavering as he struck the match and watched it blaze. "Last chance to change your mind." 

Alby half whispered, but Newt was already drooping the match on the floor. Leaving it there to blaze, Newt went and grabbed a bottle of liquor. Taking a deep shuddering breath Newt unscrewed the cap and dumped the content of the bottle onto the slowly dying match. Quickly retreating before anything could happen, Newt drooped the empty bottle and ran up the stairs before the fire alarms could go off and reveal that it was him who set fire to his own house. He had just collapsed silently onto his bed when the alarms started blaring . 

"What?" Thomas muttered sleepily as he was jerked awake by the alarms. "Fire." Was the only thing that Newt said before charging down the hallway to get his mum up. Together the three of them ran outside as fast as they could. They called the fire department, then watched as the house was turned to noting but ashes and chunks of burned wood. "I'm sorry." Newt muttered. "It's all my fault."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of ending it soon, since I'm running out of ideas. I've already got the last chapter set up in my mind, just need to set it up.


	17. Say Something

Thomas watched as Newt and his mum's house burnt to the ground. The fire department finally arrived, but the house was to far past saving, the only thing that they could do was put it out so it couldn't spread to other houses. The whole time Newt just stood as still as a stature and watched the activities going on in front of him. 

"You okay Newt?" his mum asked as she went up and stood next to him. "I'm sorry." Was all that Newt said before he turned on his heal and walked away. Newt's mum started to walk forward, but Thomas stopped her. "I'll go and talk to him, you stay here, just incase the fire department need you." 

Thomas told her, then ran to catch up with the quickly retreating Newt. "Hey Newt, wait up." Thomas cried and sprinted to catch up. Newt seemed to hear him coming though because he suddenly started to run as well. Thomas tried to speed up, but Newt was too fast. Giving up he watched as Newt rounded the corner and disappeared into the night. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Newt heard the slap of Thomas's shoes agents the pavement fade as he rounded the corner. He still ran on though, just to make sure that no one was following him. "I have to end this before i damage anymore lives." He told himself as he slowed to a speed walk, trying to think of a place that was high enough, so that if he jumped his life would be over. No where was coming to mind. "You don't want to do this." a voice said besides him and he jumped before relishing that it was Alby. 

"Why not, no one needs me and even if I go, no one would care." Newt replied and started to run again. "Know anywhere high?" he asked Alby, who was running next to him. Alby sighed and grabbed Newt's shoulder. "Are you sure that you want to do this?" He asked staring him straight in the eye. Newt shook of Alby's hand and gave a halfhearted smile. "I'm sure." He said and pulled out is phone and pulled up the search bar. 

"What are you doing Newt?" Alby asked as he peered over Newt's shoulder at what he was typing. "I'm looking for the highest building that close by." Newt replied and started scrolling through the choices that the phone gave him. "It looks like The Homestead is the highest building in the city." Newt said after a while as he got directions. "Are you." Alby started but Newt cut him off. "Like I said Alby, I'm perfectly sure." 

\------------------------------------- 

The first thing that he got asked when he got back to Newt's burned down house was Did you find him? Thomas gave Newt's mum a big hung and she seemed to take that as his answer. "We need to go and find him!" She cried in a panic and started running down the street. If Thomas wasn't so worried about where Newt was he would of laughed, it really was comical to see Newt't mum running down the street in her slippers and dressingown. 

"Miss Lacey, I do realize that you are worried about you son, but it would probably be easier to find him if we had a car." Thomas said when he caught up with her. Lacey stopped and tightened the strings of her dressingown. "Yes, quite, but where are we to get a car, the ones that we had just burned down." She asked, and Thomas pulled out his phone. "I can call Minho, a friend from school, he might be able to lend us one." He replied and dialed his number. 

"What are you, a farmer?" Came the reply on the other end when the phone picked up. Thomas groaned, to tired and upset to deal with Minho's sarcasm at the moment. "No. What happened was that Newt's house burned down. Newt's suddenly disappeared and we have know idea where to find him, so we were wondering if you could lend us one of your cars so we could go out and look." Thomas responded, hoping that he didn't sound to desperate. He heard some rustling on the other end and then Minho's reply. 

"I'll lend you the car, as long as I get to come with you." He said and Thomas heard the sound of a door closing. "That works, as long as we get to search for Newt." Thomas responded and the line went dead. Ten minutes later Minho arrived and ushered Thomas and Lacey into the car. "So, where do you think Newt might be headed?" Minho asked as they exited the neighbor hood. 

"Last time he had depression he liked to walk to the highest buildings and just sit at the top, staring down at the activity going on bellow him." Lacey responded in a dead sounding voice "I think that it made him feel like he was no longer in this world." She added as a tear slipped down her cheek. Thomas pulled out his phone and searched for the tallest building in the city. "It says here that the tallest building in the city is The Homestead, so we should head there." 

Thomas told Minho, who had his eyes focused on the road. "Directions please." Was all he said, and Thomas started to direct him there 

\-------------------------------------------------- 

Newt was running along the side of the road on his way to The Homestead "Why dose it have to be so far away?" He muttered darkly as he slowed down to a walk and clutched the cramp in his side. "Maybe you could just turn around and go find Thomas." Alby suggested as he ran in a lazy circle around Newt, which just fulled the burning fire in him more. "No." Was all he said before sprinting down the path again. "In a quarter mile turn right, and your destination will be on your left." His phone told him as he reached a red traffic light, that had one waiting car. Newt pulled up the hood on his sweatshirt when he realized that it was Thomas, Minho, and his mum. 

"Just go and admit what you did. I'm sure that the'll forgive you." Alby whispered into his ear and Newt violently shook his head dislodging his hood and it fell down reveling his face. He scrambled to put it back on but it was too late. "Newt?" Thomas's voice rang out as the light turned green. Newt sprinted across the street and onto the path, which lead away from the road and was disguised by a group of tall trees. Newt started to sprint faster as he head the car park on the side of the road. 

"Newt, wait up." He heard Thomas cry, but he sprinted faster and faster until his legs were a blur on the pavement. He ran all the way to The Homestead and flung open the miraculously unlocked door. He slammed it closed behind him and started to climb the stairs. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Thomas followed Newt as he ran along the path and watched as the door to The Homestead swung closed. "You have to go and get him." Minho said as he suddenly appeared next to him "As long as you come with me." Thomas responded, and together they oped the door to The Homestead and started to climb the stairs, hearing the sound of Newt's feet pounding the steps many floors above them. "How many floors does this building have?" Thomas asked after an eternity of climbing. Minho was about to respond when the sound of Newt's pounding foot steps faded away. 

"We better hurry." Minho said and they started to run up the stairs. Two minuets later the reached the top and flung open the door. Newt was standing in the middle of the roof, looking at the skyline. "Nice of you to join me." Thomas heard Newt call as he turned around and flashed them a sad smile. "Newt, please come back down with us." Thomas pleaded as he took a step closer. "I'm sorry Tommy, but I can't come back down with you." Newt replied and took a backwards step. He was now two feet from the edge of the roof. 

"Newt." Minho called this time. "You don't want to do this." But Newt just sadly shook his head. "I really am sorry, but I do want to do this." And he took another two steps back he was now a foot away. "Please Newt. Please." Thomas called falling to his knees as tears ran down his face. Newt was now standing on the very edge of the roof. "I can't cause any more pain." He cried "Ever since you arrived all that I have caused you is pain and suffering." Thomas looked up at Newt and whipped at the tears streaming down his face. "But you've also brought me love." Thomas replied, but Newt just shook his head and stepped off of the roof. Thomas crawled over to the edge and watched Newt's decent, all the way until he hit the bottom. 

"I'm sorry." Minho said as Thomas stood up and whipped his eyes. "It's not your fault." Thomas before running down the stairs, there could be a chance that he was still alive. When he reached the bottom he pushed open the door and ran around to the front of the building where he knew Newt lay. He knelt down on the ground next to him and listened for a heart beat. There was none. "Newt." Thomas cried, hoping that it wasn't true "Say Something."


	18. Epilog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I decided to do a short little epilog pagraph on each character, I hope you like it

Thomas-Thomas ended up staying for Newt's funurel before moving back to France. He never really got over Newt's death but he did find another boyfriend and they got married. Thomas was never going to forget his one and only trip to America

Newt- Newt was taken straight from the pavmet where he died to Gally and Albys house in heaven. They were pleased to see him and even told Teresa. The next day they had a party. Newt edventully became a visitor with Teresa, Alby, and Gally. Newt was happier in heaven than he ever was on earth 

Minho- Minho became a famous track star who even particapated in the olympics until he was killed in a car accident. He went to heavens waiting room, and Newt was his visitor. Minho decided to die and he ended up living with Newt,Gally, and Alby 

Lacey- Lacey was shocked at the death of her son, and never really got over it. She even adoped anoter child, but her heart never fully healed. One night she had her own visit to heavens waiting room, and her visitor turned out to be Newt. After seeing her son it was an easy choice for her, even if she did end up living wiht Teresa 

Ben- Ben ended up getting 25 years in prision for the attmepted murdure of Newton Issacs. While serving his sentence though he died of a heart attack, but he never saw Newt the whole time that he was there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and I hope that it wasent to terrible. About bens prision sentence, I have no idea how long prison sentences are for diffent things, so I just made up a number.
> 
> Also of if you have any oneshot ideas, I'm totaly open to them. Just kindler keep in mind that I'm only 13 
> 
> Thanks again for reading Say Somethig!!!


End file.
